I'm a cotton-headed ninny muggins.

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get to work with so many different people who come in to host the show and you get thrown into so many situations and learn how to think on your feet, so filmmaking actually feels slow, in a good way.

It's the fastest who get paid and it's the fastest who get laid.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I speak as much Spanish as anyone who has grown up in Southern California or Texas or Arizona. I had my three years of high-school Spanish and a couple of semesters in college.

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.

I would love to work with Bill Murray. I've always been such a big fan. I think he's obviously a great comedic actor but a really interesting actor.