I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.

Every time I do a partnership with the corporation, it's usually - I mean, it is - reflective of me and they really want who I am. They want what I've established for my brand and the respect and quality that I've established.

In the fourth grade, I learned how to fake walking into a door. You know, you hit it with your hand and snap your head back. The girls loved it.

I think people don't understand that comedy is an outlet for me. Comedy allows me to get outside of myself, and exercise this thing that is still kind of scary to me.

There's nothing sexy about Orange County.

I've always loved watching the news on TV. As a kid, I loved watching Walter Cronkite, for some reason.

I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records.