Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always associated consciousness with artists like Bob Marley or Joni Mitchell or Bob Dylan. You know, artists that really talked about what was going on in the world and really artists that are timeless.

I guess ultimately a lot of comedians just wanna be taken seriously.

I'm a really good swimmer.

I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I love watching people be totally committed in a very real way to stupid situations. I find it's not so much trying to be funny, it's trying to be real in a messed up context. That's comedy to me.