I Was so Drunk, I Thought a Tube of Toothpaste Was Astronaut Food.

I'm the minority in my house sometimes. My wife is Swedish, and we go to Sweden and everyone is rattling off in Swedish. It's like, 'OK, I can just read a book.'

But for fatherhood advice, try to look your child in the eye.... Get to know their name; that becomes important when you want something. And remember to feed them. That's about all you need.

I built a jail in my closet and I would incarcerate my family from time to time.

It's tough for me to get rid of clothes. I grew up in a household with a limited budget and we really had to make our nice clothes last, and so now I'll get free pairs of shoes and this, that and the other and I'll be like, 'Oh great!'; even though it stresses me out that I don't have enough room to put them, I can't throw them away.

It's the fastest who get paid and it's the fastest who get laid.

I'm really an artist of feeling. I like creating things when it feels right.