I guess destiny isn't the path chosen for us, but the path we chose for ourselves.

I love watching people be totally committed in a very real way to stupid situations. I find it's not so much trying to be funny, it's trying to be real in a messed up context. That's comedy to me.

I live by 'Earnin' and burnin'.' Meaning, I like to make money and spend it before I even have it. That's the way I live my life.

I would love to play Simon Cowell in a movie - heck, I would love it. It would be my dream role.

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one hand it's very flattering, it is just so surreal.

I'm the minority in my house sometimes. My wife is Swedish, and we go to Sweden and everyone is rattling off in Swedish. It's like, 'OK, I can just read a book.'

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.