Nature's a tranquilizer as you get older.

No libraries, no progress.

The best cookies of all in the world are the ones my daughter Sally makes. They come out all uniform with nice little air holes.

Nobody actually talks to anybody anymore. People in cubicles next to each other, they e-mail each other.

I'm Southern Baptist, not a meteorologist.

Viewers figure, 'Uncle Willard doesn't know any more about the weather than I do.' They're right.

I have the best job in the entire history of broadcasting.