I'd like to do 'Saturday Night Live.'

No libraries, no progress.

People over 100 are the fastest-growing group in America. People soon will be working 'til 100 - some because they have to - and living 'til 125 or even 135. What do I know, I'm just a weatherman, but I've made a hobby of studying this, and it's phenomenal.

If I go down in for anything in history, I would like to be known as the person who convinced the American people that catfish is one of the finest eating fishes in the world.

There are plenty of good-looking women out there. Go get them.

Viewers figure, 'Uncle Willard doesn't know any more about the weather than I do.' They're right.

Never slap a man who chews tobacco.