Librarians have always been among the most thoughtful and helpful people. They are teachers without a classroom.

I'd like to do 'Saturday Night Live.'

Viewers figure, 'Uncle Willard doesn't know any more about the weather than I do.' They're right.

Take a microphone out of my hands, and I'm just plain folks.

I go to McDonald's at least once a week. I always get a No. 2.

I'm not the dumbest guy that ever lived.

Will Rogers was an American hero - someone you could get your teeth into and love.