Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.

The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.

I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.

Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.