Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.

I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.

There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.