In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.

I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.

If I could just hope to have a major talent, then I would rather have it in music than in any other field.

Me and nature are two.

I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.

You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love your wife, too. And you also love that one. Or if she's met some man and she loves the man and she loves you. And then you meet somebody else and now there are three of you. Why only one person?

Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?