I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.

At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.

Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.