If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.