I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.

. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.

The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.

Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.

I see no advantages in aging whatsoever. You become shriveled. You become decrepit. You lose your faculties. Your peer group passes away. You sit in a room gumming your porridge. I don't see any advantage in this whatsoever.