If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting

Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.

Some people think about sex all the time; some people think of sex some of the time; and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.

Everybody knows how awful the world is and what a terrible situation it is and each person distorts it in a certain way that enables him to get through. Some people distort it with religious things. Some people distort it with sports, with money, with love, with art, and they all have their own nonsense about what makes it meaningful, and all but nothing makes it meaningful. These things definitely serve a certain function, but in the end they all fail to give life meaning and everyone goes to his grave in a meaningless way.

I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.

I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors.

Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.