Eternity is really long, especially near the end.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.

In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.

See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.

The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it.