I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody AllenThe key point about a demonstration is that it must be seen. Hence the term "demonstration." If a person demonstrates privately in his own home, this is not technically a demonstration but merely "acting silly" or "behaving like an ass.
Woody AllenSome guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
Woody AllenIn every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
Woody Allen