Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?

The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

Paranoia is knowing all the facts.

I don't know enough to be incompetent.

You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.