He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.

I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.