I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.

Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it. You don't have to be great to make a living at it. Just like a doctor who doesn't have to be great can still make a living out of it.

I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law

I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.

We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.

I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.