My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.

Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.

Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.

Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.

My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.

The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.

The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.