Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?

I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.

I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.

Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.