I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.

The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.

I loathed every day and regret every moment I spent in a school.

Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.

For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.

There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.

Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison." — "If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists