Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.

If you aren't failing every now and then, you're probably playing it too safe.

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)

Life is full of moments that are good - winning a lottery, seeing a beautiful woman, a great dinner - but the whole thing is tragic. It's an oasis that is very pleasant.