Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.

Paris is particularly beautiful in the rain. It was just a nice experience for me, a pleasant experience, and I was able to present it to the world through my eyes, very subjectively - not realistically, but subjectively.

Life is full of moments that are good - winning a lottery, seeing a beautiful woman, a great dinner - but the whole thing is tragic. It's an oasis that is very pleasant.

Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.

I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.

I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.