Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.

There's nothing good about getting older-absolutely nothing-because the amount of wisdom and experience you gain is negligible compared to what you lose. You do gain a couple of things-you gain a little bittersweet and sour wisdom from your heartbreaks and failures and things-but what you lose is so catastrophic in every way.

I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want

How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?

It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.

Humorists always sit at the children's table.

I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.