It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.

Your audience teaches you how to be funny.

I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.

I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.

I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.

Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.

The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.