In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.

The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb; anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.

Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.