Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.

I see the glass half full...but of poison.

A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.

I don't know enough to be incompetent.

My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.