You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.
The only women I publicly date are those who have a higher IMDB rating than me.
I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.
When I was little I always wanted to drive a train. That, and become a baker.
I never looked at bread the same way again
Every time I see a child walking down the street I like to trip them. While they look for their missing teeth, I personally remind them that no matter how hard they try I will always be better than them.