It's hard for me not to be extraordinarily cute. I had to fight it.

Everyone has a warped vision of Hollywood and what success in Hollywood is like.

The thing about all these charities is that who sees where the money goes? I don't and you don't. For all I know, the president of Make a Wish just used all the money to buy himself a mansion and a yacht. That's why I keep all of my money for myself, at least then I know I'm doing good for at least one person for sure.

I know I probably should be sad about my mother's cancer... but she still hasn't seen The Last Kiss, you know?

If I could change anything about Garden State, it would be to cast somebody else for the female lead. Natalie just isn't really that good of an actress. Especially when compared to me. Just watch the two of us, it's light and dark. I am by far the better Jew.

People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.

I mean, what's eleven million people now days?