I mean, I'm a writer, actor, AND director. Not to rock the boat or anything, but compare that to a carpenter and, in the end, who is the better man?

It's trust issue more than anything. I mean, whats stopping them from teaming up, dressing up like a really tall person in a trenchcoat, and then BAM. They sneak out with all your furniture

I could be one if I wanted to, I'm just way too overqualified for a job that simple.

The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.

I mean, I understand that Scrubs was my big break, but sooner or later you have to move on. I've already directed a movie, which received very good reviews, so it just seems much more important to me now. I feel that in order to better foster my creativity as an actor and director at this point, I need to be surrounded by other talented, artistic individuals, instead of just goofy comedians.

When you're the director and the writer, you never have to remember your lines, and there's no one to call you on it. On Garden State I did different lines on every take, just making crap up. And it was great each time.

When things seem to be slowing down, there's this little trick I like to play. I'd plow this virgin who's on her period, and after I'm done I'd just run out into the living room, or the dance floor, with all that bloody goop on my junk and yell, OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN SHOT IN THE NADS! Yeah, good times.