I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.

Hitler was about population control.

Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?

I believe the general consensus is the bigger it is, the more women flock to you. I guess its a good thing mine is HUGE!

It's not that I'm racist or anything, because I'm not, but I just don't think we should be wasting our time helping people that are going to die soon anyway.

I mean, I understand that Scrubs was my big break, but sooner or later you have to move on. I've already directed a movie, which received very good reviews, so it just seems much more important to me now. I feel that in order to better foster my creativity as an actor and director at this point, I need to be surrounded by other talented, artistic individuals, instead of just goofy comedians.

I really like just super dry comedy.