I was originally casted to be in the Superman movie but I read the script and realized that it was mysteriously similar to my screenplay for Zach Braff the Movie.
Zach BraffWhen I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
Zach BraffCompared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.
Zach BraffI've never had much sympathy for orphans, I mean, when I was their age I would have killed to have no parents to make me clean my room and stuff
Zach Braff