I had a dream once. I wanted to do a line of cocaine off a hooker's ass. That's when I realized, 'Hey, I'm freakin' Zach Braff.' I did it the next morning.

I'm hanging out with my New York friends, my Jersey boys, my family and loving every single second of it.

I mean, what's eleven million people now days?

They don't know I'm staring, what does it matter if I keep on doing it?

It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.

Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?

Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.