I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something

They say that guys who like chick flicks tend to do a little better with the ladies. Well, I INVENTED the chick flick, so you can pretty much guess where that leaves me.

I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.

You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.

I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.

I mean, what's eleven million people now days?

I'm a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don't know the difference and, let's face it, they aren't going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.