I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.

You know, I think there should be a Zach Braff Day. We could have it on December 25th and then people can decide whether they want to celebrate me or Jesus. If you ask me, the choice is pretty obvious.

She can't say no if she's unconscious.

I mean, so what if it's a little dangerous? A one-armed kid is comedy gold.

I mean, I'm a writer, actor, AND director. Not to rock the boat or anything, but compare that to a carpenter and, in the end, who is the better man?

It really is fascinating stuff, and I've picked it up on Scrubs. Memorizing lines is at least as hard as studying a text book, I mean, by this point I know about as much as most 'real' doctors.

When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don't have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?