I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.

I'm not an hour late. You guys were just an hour early.

I know I probably should be sad about my mother's cancer... but she still hasn't seen The Last Kiss, you know?

Im just not really attracted to black chicks.

I know every politician spins the truth a little.

I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.

My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.