I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

Look on the bright side; that's one bullet that's not going to hit me.

Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.

I've always tried to learn from the greats: Orson Welles, Humphrey Bogart, Ghandi, Buddha, Jesus... it's just that there's this tremendous pressure to correct all the things they got wrong.

If we're going to solve the problems in North Korea, the first thing we're going to have to do is start helping them get basic amenities like electricity, televisions, and DVD players over there. Otherwise, how can they watch 'Garden State'?

I can't watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where's the substantive news? Where's the Zach Braff coverage?

My favorite meal? It has to be furburgers everyday in the morning.