My favorite meal? It has to be furburgers everyday in the morning.

Minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. People just don't understand that

I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.

Complete garbage. It's like Garden State, but in outer space.

People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.

For me, acting in scenes with other people is like playing soccer with a bunch of legless five year olds. It's not really fair to them, but what else can I do, you know?

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.