Come to my house and you'll see if I'm gay. And bring your sister.

England is a very strong league, with three or four of the best teams in Europe, but, if I had played there, I would have destroyed it, like I have everywhere else.

Arsenal could have happened, as everybody knows, but I would not do a trial. Who do you think regrets that more - Arsene Wenger or Zlatan?

I like fireworks too, but I set them off in gardens or kebab stands. I never set fire to my own house.

At Barca, players were banned from driving their sports cars to training. I thought this was ridiculous - it was no one's business what car I drive - so in April, before a match with Almeria, I drove my Ferrari Enzo to work. It caused a scene.

It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub. Now I hold my vodka much better.

Zlatan doesn’t do auditions.