Only God knows You’re talking to him now.

It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub. Now I hold my vodka much better.

José Mourinho is a big star. He's nice. The first time he met Helena [Ibrahimovic's partner] he whispered to her: 'Helena, you have only one mission - feed Zlatan, let him sleep, keep him happy.' That guy says whatever he wants. I like him.

That's how it is with the English: if you score against them you're a good player; if you don't, you're not.

I like fireworks too, but I set them off in gardens or kebab stands. I never set fire to my own house.

Come over to my house with your sister, baby, and I'll show you who's gay!

I'm like Muhammed Ali. When he said he would knock someone out in the fourth round, he did it.