I don't know if the unborn has rights, but I do know that being born again doesn't give you more rights.

Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing.

Enjoy every minute. There's plenty of time to be dead.

The Baptists believe in The Right to Life before you're born. They also believe in Life After Death, but that is a privilege and you have to earn it by spending the interim in guilt-ridden misery. At an early age I decided that living a life of pious misery in the hope of going to heaven when it's over is a lot like keeping your eyes shut all through a movie in the hope of getting your money back at the end.

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.

I think it's time to stop carping on the blunders of the President and give him some credit for creativity. I mean, where do you even FIND a Jewish hard-line conservative Republican pot-smoker? Sounds like an Oprah Winfrey guest.