I don't know if the unborn has rights, but I do know that being born again doesn't give you more rights.

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

The Bible says, 'The truth shall make you free.' But let's not forget it was Spiro Agnew who said that a good lie will keep you out of jail in the first place.

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.