If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.

Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to "prove their love" like a moose needs a hat rack.

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.

You could move.' ---"Dear Abby" responds to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.

So yesterday you fell off the wagon? Or maybe you blew your diet? Or lost your temper and shot off your mouth? Well, that was yesterday. Today is a brand-new day with a clean slate, so forget yesterday!

It is totally unconscionable to subject defenseless animals to mutilation and death, just so a company can be the first to market a new shade of nail polish or a new, improved laundry detergent. It's cruel, it's brutal, it's inhumane, and most people don't want it.

Never advise anyone to go to war or to get married.