Never advise anyone to go to war or to get married.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.

If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.

Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.

Fighting fire with fire only gets you ashes!

Fear less, hope more. Eat less, chew more. Talk less, say more. Hate less, love more.