It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.

The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.

Women who miscalculate are called mothers.

It is totally unconscionable to subject defenseless animals to mutilation and death, just so a company can be the first to market a new shade of nail polish or a new, improved laundry detergent. It's cruel, it's brutal, it's inhumane, and most people don't want it.

So yesterday you fell off the wagon? Or maybe you blew your diet? Or lost your temper and shot off your mouth? Well, that was yesterday. Today is a brand-new day with a clean slate, so forget yesterday!

Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.