I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.

I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.