Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.