One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'