One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'