When I take my kid to school, all the parents stop and stare.

I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.

I'm pretty hot, right? Very hot, if I may say so myself. Don't you feel the sex I'm radiating?

When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them.

I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn't the best at that. But comedy thing and making movies and stuff, I love it so much that I do get driven to push myself as hard as I can.

Wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream.

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.