I've always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B'nai B'rith at our house.

My sisters are stronger and my brother's bigger than me.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't know if I'll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.

I know I want to always do the best I can.

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

You know, when you don't go on TV and talk about how many women you sleep with, some people in Hollywood, that are supposedly 'in the know,' start whispering that you're gay. If I were gay, I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not.