A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard.

If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not 'cause I hate her so much as it's just easier for when my friends go, 'Hey, what happened?' 'Oh, she's dead. I'd still be with her, but she's dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she's dead.'

Me and Fred Wolf wrote the movie [ Grown Ups]. The whole idea was about putting together old friends that get to hang out for a weekend.

I wasn't a kid growing up thinking, 'One day I'll get an Oscar and make a speech.' That wasn't on my mind.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.

I don't know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can.I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn't the best at that.