I don't know who I touch and who I don't. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don't have any secrets. I don't know the reasons I've been so well received.

I've always just had troubles with my family because I'm psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.

It's nice when little teams win.

We just bought this house. It's too big. It's like 400,000 square feet, or something. We got an indoor lake and ski slope in the house! It's just too big.

Eat turkey all night long, 50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong.

When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them.

In high school I wanted to be a rock star and was in a lot of bands.